Ever been harassed by the Nigerian police? Tips on how to prevent it...

Have you ever been stopped at a police checkpoint and endured harassment, goading and abuse for no reason? Welcome to Nigeria where the police who are meant to protect, have become mercenaries for perpetuating crime and are a means to syphon money from defenceless citizens.

The statutory responsibilities of the Nigeria Police Force are to detect crime, prevent crime, protect citizens and properties, amongst others.
Nowhere in the world and even any section of the nation's constitution allows harassment, molestation, intimidation of the citizenry and the wanton vandalization and destruction of people's properties at the least opportunity as part of the Police statutory or over-sight responsibilities.


These rights are for motorists specifically:

• The police have a right to search you and your vehicle for anything contraband or illegal, but they do not have the constitutional right to confiscate any item.

• They have the right to ask for the following:
* Driving License
* Insurance Certificate
* Certificate of Road Worthiness (Commercial vehicles only)

You don’t need to Present
* Vehicle Purchase documents
* Proof of ownership (except if the vehicles is unregistered)
* Receipt of plate number
* ECMR

All that above is the law, according to the Police Act. Reality is actually different! My dear friends,the only documentation universally acceptable to Nigerian policemen is CASH, but this must be presented in strict compliance with established protocol.




Refuse to give up the cash in time and you may stop an "accidentally discharged " rifle round, or conversely give the cash up too hastily and you risk arousing suspicion that your vehicle contains a LARGE volume of cash that may become evident after a search. Large amounts of cash could inspire the police to "sentence" the motorist to death so as to be relieved of said cash, and so for those who do transport such bulk currency, a vehicle search is most undesirable to say the least.

Correct Nigerian police checkpoint decorum is as follows

1. Stop the vehicle but do not pull off the road unless asked to do so.

2. Listen for the key word "weekend" to be invoked by the policeman, as in “How for the weekend, sir?"

3. Tender your cash donation such that the officer may pocket it smoothly without giving full account to the other cops on duty.

4. Wave delightedly to the other gunmen as you are granted right of passage and start to pull away.

Any deviation from this MODALITY can cost you your life, reducing you to the status of another DB (“Delta Bravo" as in unclaimed Dead Body lying in the sun beside the road.

This is how to survive in this country, as sad as it looks and sounds...